How do I achieve thick, straight, and shiny hair? Right now...

If you answered ‘dry’ to question #2 this is why your hair looks the way you describe it.

How do you claim to have ‘poofy’ hair and yet still wish to add volume?

#3 was really rhetorical. You can't hate what your hair is and simultaneously wish for it to be moreso.

OK, 3 things

It you answered ‘curly’ to question #1

what does your hair look like after you wash it?

Then, you can go about finding ways to straighten it, otherwise, you'll just hate that too

When do you detangle/brush it?

You. Have. Curly. Hair.

Stop brushing your hair dry and treat it the way curly hair needs to be treated, with moisture, cool water, dignity and respect.

2 things:

How do I achieve thick, straight, and shiny hair? Right now my hair is very dry, dead, poofy, fine, and a yucky mix between wavy and straight. How do I add volume and make my hair more straight?